Thoughts

The need to write a blog post is always in the back of my mind, but it is very hard to bring my thoughts into reality, and especially sharing them. Guess I am not that unbothered after all; but I decided to constantly remind myself that I am doing this blog for me, and let myself be careless.
A lot has happened since my last post; I have decided to take a little break at my home country because things were getting crazier in New York. Everything seemed to be going wrong and like a lot of people, I hoped for 2020 to be better. One day of overworking at my cousin’s bar, I had to live the last thing that would make leaving the only option for me. Assisting to a shooting was another level of craziness that I never thought I’d experience. That night two gang members killed each other in front of us, leaving us all traumatized and feeling so close to death. My brain couldn’t process how in five minutes, a party has turned into a crime scene, how I could be part of this tragedy and how minutes before this all started, I was talking to that person, and now this person is no longer alive.
I had to leave to give myself time and come back with a plan for my studies and finally not let myself get carried away from what is important. Months later with the expansion of the Corona virus, I came to the conclusion that everything happens for a reason, I certainly wouldn’t have survived this alone if I stayed there and I needed to be with my family at such uncertain times.
We as human beings, constantly need reassurance, we can’t deal with uncertainty and some of us just get trapped in a dark hole and can’t get out of it, especially with the latest events, it is important to remember that maybe we can’t understand everything now, but things happen for a reason and this will certainly open our eyes to other things that we forgot about. It is also important to take this time to be the best version of ourselves, put things into perspective, maybe start working-out, discover a hobby and maybe turn it into a job, think about how things are ephemeral and start focusing on what is really essential to you, and of course, remember that the rain does not last forever.